Can you believe it's already August 1st?! In just 27 days, I will fly out to Georgia (the state) to meet my team, do some training, and then head off to our first country! It's crazy to me that I will be in the US for just 1 more month, and that it is all coming up so soon! Thank you for all of your prayers and your financial support so far - I am thankful to each and every one of you.

In this blog, I want to be vulnerable with you all, and hopefully encouraging as well, because these last few months the Lord has done miraculous but very difficult things, and I want to share them with you - ALL glory to God.

For the sake of not gossiping, I will lay it out for you like this: over my entire 20 years of life, I have had many broken relationships, with family members, ex's, ex-friends, you name it. Because of this, I developed a lot of bitterness, a lot of victim playing, and a lot of unforgiveness - because how can you forgive the people you thought you could trust but shattered it, or who broke your heart, or who hurt you in unimaginable ways? It's just too hard, and frankly, they don't deserve it, right?

So, I continued on in life, going through middle school, high school, and eventually these last 2 years of college, adding names to the ever-growing list of people who hurt me. Some became the butt of a joke. Others, the reason I gave as to why I acted in certain ungodly ways. Still others, whose names I couldn't bring myself to even speak - but I sure did have a lot to say about them and what they did to me, to anyone who would listen. And while I'm not proud of my actions, I truly didn't realize how much unforgiveness I was holding on to (and how much it was hurting me) until 1 week ago. July 24 - what a restorative day.

Last Friday, I was able to attend my church's 2nd Young Adult Summer Worship Night. I love worship, as music is a huge part of my life, and any chance to sing, praise, dance, and worship the Lord is an immediate yes for me. This worship night, the theme was unity and reconciliation. This immediately made my heart drop to my stomach, because the previous few days, I felt the Holy Spirit stirring within me the thought of forgiving and reconciling with some people of my past, and now there was a whole message on it. One specific person had been on my mind for the past year, since August, but I never did anything about it. In listening intently to this message, the speaker brought up some Bible verses and points that I will list below:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:21-24 NKJV

"Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." - Romans 12:17-18 NKJV

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

How to protect unity

• Protect unity by closing the distance

• Protect unity by choosing curiosity over assumption

• Protect unity by giving what I've been given

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32 NIV

All this time, I didn't realize how against Scripture (and against God) I was willingly living. Over and over, we see God's call for the body of Christ to live in unity, to choose forgiveness over resentment, to live peaceably, and to reconcile. God doesn't call us to go back to the people who hurt us and act as if nothing happened, or continue in relationships that are not healthy, but He does call us to do our part on our end - forgive, reconcile, love, and Christ loves, and live in unity.

And so, by the strength of God, I went and I verbally reconciled (as much as I could on my part) with 4 people, and for the others, I prayed. I prayed that God would forgive me and forgive them, and I released everything I was holding on to to God. I prayed over their salvation and relationship with God, that God would heal my mind of every evil I've thought towards them, and that I would see them as God sees them - beloved, His creation, and someone Jesus died for. Because ultimately, every hurt someone has done to me, they've done to God - and He promises to forgive and restore. If I want to live like Jesus, how can I not do the same?

Listen, I am not saying all this as if the people who hurt me just called me a name and I held onto it. I've been physically and emotionally hurt, heartbroken, shunned, bullied, and more that I will not get into. But despite all of this, God still calls me to forgive, to reconcile, and to be unified. And in doing so, in being obedient, I have never felt more free. Friends, the joy I have, the peace I have, the love I have, it is like nothing I've ever experienced. It is true freedom. It wasn't easy; it took years. And it was something I could never do on my own. But by the strength of God, in all His lovingkindness, grace, and mercy, I was able to go to Christ as I was in all my hurt and unforgiveness, pray and continuously surrender it all to Him, pray over myself and every individual, and watch as God restored and healed me in my surrender and obedience. There is no limit to God's power and love; there is nothing that God, the One True God, cannot do.

If there is anyone in your life or your past, or maybe even yourself, that you have not been able to forgive, that you know you've been holding bitterness and anger towards, just know that that is not God's desire for you. He knows every moment you've been hurt, every time you've felt like you couldn't bear it, every tear you've cried - He's seen it all. And He promises to heal and restore you, if only you surrender it to Him. It's not easy, but if you desire to live like Jesus, to love God with your whole heart, and to be obedient to His Word, you need to give God all unforgiveness and let Him change your heart and mind. He loves you, He wants to heal you, and He wants you to live a life of forgiveness, reconciliation, and unity.

Surrender it all to God, my friends. He cares for you.

And praise Jesus for His mighty work in and through me, and for the work He is doing in you!

Grace to you and peace be multiplied,

Jenna :)

Prayer requests:

• That the next 27 days I would be able to prepare and posture my heart in preparation for all that is to come on this trip!

• For Greece, the Czech Republic, Thailand, Malaysia, and Guatemala, and for every individual we encounter and work with

• That I would continue to cultivate a deep personal relationship with Jesus and not lose focus

• The Enemy will attack - that I would be able to withstand the attacks, covered in the full Armor of God

• That the Lord will continue to provide supporters for this trip - I am almost 50% funded! Praise God!

• For my family, as I will be apart from them for 9 months

Praise reports:

• The Lord is definitely healing my heart, as spoken of in the last blog

• I am forming my prayer team! DM me if you would like to also be apart of it!

• I mentioned already, but I am almost 50% funded which is a HUGE blessing! Thank You Jesus!!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

Praise Him all creatures here below

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

Amen